The parking lot was full – maybe this was a good sign! The building was beautiful with a spanish-style architecture, yet it was newly renovated. I had to walk a bit from where I finally found a parking spot. Anticipation swelled because I had found this place online and was excited about what I would experience here. I crept into the building and looked for a spot to sit. I sat for a while, enjoying the inside decor, yet, after a few minutes, a slight feeling of estrangement began to grow, as if I was an on-looker watching others have an experience, but I, myself, was not included. Eyes met mine, but no smiles – almost a protective, comparative glance back – as if I was there to steal the God-experience from the place. It felt as if we all were a separate island, coming to experience the show, and ready to leave when it was over. Maybe I had traveled into a Sims world, where everyone had been dressed by a computer gamer controlling the whole scene? Then suddenly, one lady, like a fish swimming upstream, was walking aisle-by-aisle greeting everyone, and as she came to me, she touched my shoulder and shook my hand. I felt a slight connection – like I was seen for the first time, and not some invisible creature. Here she was, one real, non-stepford-person looking outside her walls – strong enough in her own skin to step out of it and reach out to a stranger. After she passed on, I slipped out after a few minutes. I decided to try another place where a friend was at, not far down the road. As I walked back out into the parking lot, I remembered the evening I had just had at the line-dance Honky Tonk…both atmoshpheres standing in stark contrast to each other. I got in my car and drove away from the Church…
Awakenings 