Awakenings

Let him breathe!

“Mama”

I heard my son say Mama today

And it made me think of George Floyd.

That’s what stood out to me from the video of his public execution.

That’s the main part that broke my heart.

When I saw that video, so many emotions and questions came to mind:

-Wait, we’ve heard this before – “I can’t breathe!”

-Get off of him!

-Why is the policeman on his neck when his hands are already cuffed and he’s on the ground?

-Why are the officer’s hands smugly in his pocket as he forces the life out of this man? Stop!

-Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

-Can’t you hear him? Let him breathe!!

But when I heard “Mamma” come from George’s dying lips, I lost it.

And when I heard my son say “Mamma” to me today, I heard George.

Yes, I’m a white woman.

And I’m a mamma.

When I feel the rage and the sadness after seeing these stories, in some ways I feel powerless because I’m afraid I’ll only be seen for the color of my skin, or I’ll be seen as patronizing and my privilege will negate my words from being heard as legitimate.

But I’m a Mama, so I must speak.

I’m a human being, so it is my duty.

This needs to stop.

Even as I type these words they seem so empty because we keep saying it and nothing stops.

But I’m still a Mamma, so I must speak.

And George was someone’s son, brother, lover, friend, co-worker, neighbor, fellow human being.

Let him breathe.

Let him breathe!

Let them breathe!!

Where are the ventilators for injustice??