Awakenings

What is Church – Part 2

Awakenings

December 5, 2011

The parking lot was full – maybe this was a good sign! The building was beautiful with a spanish-style architecture, yet it was newly renovated. I had to walk a bit from where I finally found a parking spot. Anticipation swelled because I had found this place online and was excited about what I would experience here. I crept into the building and looked for a spot to sit. I sat for a while, enjoying the inside decor, yet, after a few minutes, a slight feeling of estrangement began to grow, as if I was an on-looker watching others have an experience, but I, myself, was not included. Eyes met mine, but no smiles – almost a protective, comparative glance back – as if I was there to steal the God-experience from the place. It felt as if we all were a separate island, coming to experience the show, and ready to leave when it was over. Maybe I had traveled into a Sims world, where everyone had been dressed by a computer gamer controlling the whole scene? Then suddenly, one lady, like a fish swimming upstream, was walking aisle-by-aisle greeting everyone, and as she came to me, she touched my shoulder and shook my hand. I felt a slight connection – like I was seen for the first time, and not some invisible creature. Here she was, one real, non-stepford-person looking outside her walls – strong enough in her own skin to step out of it and reach out to a stranger. After she passed on, I slipped out after a few minutes. I decided to try another place where a friend was at, not far down the road. As I walked back out into the parking lot, I remembered the evening I had just had at the line-dance Honky Tonk…both atmoshpheres standing in stark contrast to each other. I got in my car and drove away from the Church…

What is Church – Part 1

Awakenings

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November 29, 2011

I stepped into the upscale honkey-tonk I was to meet my brother in. A low-key country song played in the background. The place was still pretty empty inside, but I saw my bro dancing with his wife – the only lone couple on the dance floor at the time. He spotted me right away and came over to meet me. It was the 2nd time we had met in all our lives, and immediately I felt the warmth and familiarity that comes when you connect with family on a deeper level than just DNA. I was excited about learning how to line-dance, and he frequented the place and would teach me some of the best moves. He led me over to a table where he had already bought me a Pepsi and introduced me to his wife and their friend who also came just about every night. I felt comfortable yet nervous that I would be behind the steps of everyone else. Unbeknownst to me, this was part of a weekend journey of God revealing to me some contemplations about “Church” and what it means…

The evening went great. I was behind in many of the dances just as I suspected, but it was somehow ok – many others were behind as well, and we all bonded together – total strangers floating, tripping, stomping, and eventually cascading into a rythym of unity moving together as one body. My brother encouraged me – “you’re doing great! Just keep moving – make up the steps if you lose your place, and you’ll fall back into it!” And it worked! Once when I messed up a step, I asked someone lined up next to me to show me the right step, and they happily did it, laughing with me at my clumsiness, yet encouraging me, “you’ll get better! It seems hard at first, but it gets easier! Just have fun with it!” And so we danced – lines of us all with our separate stories, yet here connected… together as one.

As the evening came to an end, my brother and I said our goodbyes – I thanked him for the great experience, his wife hugged me and I said goodbye to their friend who was now my friend as well. As I was walking out to leave, I walked past one of the women I had met on the dance floor. She asked me, “you’re leaving? You should stay!” and we stood for a brief moment and shared where we were from. Her realness, concerned kindness and warmth towards me surprised me, yet, touched me.

As I got into my car, I left feeling warm, accepted, celebrated and connected…

Thanksgiving Interrupted – Black Friday part 2

Awakenings

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November 25, 2011

So, there they all were, sitting around the table after the delicious feast of foods and recipes that had been passed down for generations. Everyone looked as stuffed as the turkey they just ate. The family tradition was to go around the circle and share what one is thankful for. So everyone dutifully did their round, the young kids sounding cute and not just wanting to stay with only 1 item to share. The teens rolled their eyes and shared sheepishly their thanks, inwardly enjoying the process, but outwardly acting tortured. The older members of the family shared things that were intangible for some, or hard to put into words, things such as love, family, grace, etc. The dog snuck in the kitchen to try to nibble off the table, got yelled out, and slinked out, ashamed. Next everyone slowly moved their bloated bodies into the next room and sat around the living room while dad shared some old poems. Mom lit the candles, and later in the evening the family played games while their stomachs hurt. Ahh, Thanksgiving. As the evening concluded, the children fell asleep on the floor or on relative’s laps, and the conversations of “how’s your year” echoed quietly away as the hours of the night tick-tocked, and finally, everyone drifted off to sleep.

It was a similar scene recently at another household, except as the pumpkin pie was being eaten around the family room, many of the family began to share (instead of what they’re thankful for) what great deals they were planning on getting for black Friday. Two members of the group pulled out the ads section of the paper and began to point out, like a kid looking in a toy catalog, all the things they were planning on getting. The conversations revolved around which store they would venture to first, stating that one even opened as early as 10pm that night – and if they really wanted to get there, they needed to leave by 9. The warm atmosphere of family and friends gathering and sharing a moment slowly dissipated as the commercialism robbed the moment. The kids picked up on it, and started to head to their rooms, or began texting, or playing video games. And like that, the “sabbath” of the one day of the year given for gratitude was eaten up by consumerism, greed, and the need to grab the best deal. While left in the shadows, the greatest deal of all was present and accounted for: the gift of being present in the moment with loved ones that we are not promised time with forever…

Thanksgiving Interrupted – Black Friday…part 1

Awakenings

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November 23, 2011

You know, I am getting really sick of these Christmas commercials that are WAY TOO EARLY. The worst one I saw recently started out with the nice story of the Pilgrims and “Indians” with some traditional pictures that looked like they came out of some older book from the library. The photos kind of brought back somewhat warm feelings of days-gone-by, while a history-channel-type-voice told the beginnings of the story of our country’s first Thanksgiving. Then, like a rude interruption from a way-too-happy-morning person, the screen shot changes to a bunch of Toyota trucks and cars driving in a modern-day setting, while a frantic voice tells us all about the deal we just HAVE to grab! Wow…even in the commercials there is no more Thanksgiving – only daydreams of the after-party of me, me, me…the consumeristic party of buying and shopping and then, dropping. There is no more Sabbath in anything anymore…it kinda makes me super annoyed that we all just take it as reality. Really? This is what we’ve all come to?

I need more time to digest these thoughts…but in the meantime, remember as we get closer to “black friday” that we, as consumers, hold the power in our hands, pockets, wallets, purses, Christmas lists, and credit card-swiping, to make a vote towards ending modern-day slavery. Make every purchase count as your proclamation to end bloodshed around the world that may exist on the other end of the supply chain. If you’re in the area of Healdsburg, check out this local business owned by some great friends of ours! If you’re not local, google fair trade in your area. Let’s show what it means through our buying to be grateful for freedom, and extend it to others. http://www.oneworldfairtrade.net/

Some mysteries I’ve been finding in my life…

Awakenings

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November 20, 2011

Do you ever sense that life has moments that run deep inside your soul and present mysteries that are un-definable? Here’s some that I’ve discovered lately…what are yours?

– There’s sometimes a sadness deep down within the basements of my soul that I can’t express – almost as if it’s passed down from my ancestors from long ago…the sadness feels generations deep.

– There are things within me that don’t seem to come from me – almost as if DNA also passes down emotions, sadness, feelings and struggles and baggage…tears that were never cried or released. Laughter that comes from another time and place. Fear that’s ingrained in decades of the unknown history of my kin…

-Activity is not the same as purpose, but it masks as purpose most of the time.

-Something was found and discovered inside my soul when I met my brother. I strange and comforting familiarity. DNA is such a mystery! This meeting created a hunger that I must continue to search out.

-Sometimes, a lot of times, I hear an inner cry – a familiar one – my soul yearning for authenticity and answers. Activity usually follows, which acts as a sort of headphones that silence and drawn out the soul. I’m tired of this practice – I choose to give my soul a safe place to merely be…

-There’s a spiritual, deep, unseen way of life if you open your eyes and look for it – SLOW DOWN

-There are many questions that don’t have immediate “taco bell” answers. Embrace the mystery!

-Reality is dependant a lot of times on opinions and perspectives and life experiences…

-Much of the time there is a song inside my soul that’s hard to put into a melody.

-Time can be an enemy or friend – it’s entirely up to us.

-Busy is the imposter of purpose…

-There is so much beauty in the ordinary and simple

-Too often than naught, pain steers our lives, either conciously or unconciously

-Life is always more enjoyable when we are present!

-There are certian moments that define our lives, usually uncircumstantial at first to the naked eye

-There are very few people who understand your soul – when you find one, don’t let them go.

-Sometimes the best way to be fixed is to see the brokenness.

-Many times the things “society” say are important are really a waste of time.

What are some mysteries you’ve found in your experience??